It is one thing to have an enemy say, “You are worthless and unlovable” but quite another to have a parent, a loved one, a friend, or a respected colleague say harsh words of betrayal and condemnation like this. Perhaps the words you heard were “You are ugly”, “You are dumb”, or “You are a waste of time”. Honestly, it may even be worse to hear from a stranger. When a random car drives by as you jog along the road, and the driver calls you a “porker” through the rolled down window, somehow these foul words stick. Perhaps to you, they weren’t actual words, just the very real rejection by a date, a teammate, or an employer: Passed over for the interview, rejected from the select team, or you didn’t get an invitation to the prom, or a friend’s wedding.
By the time we are in middle school, we have already internalized many such harsh words and acts, and over time they become lies that define us. It is no longer that we were rejected by someone or wounded by someone, but instead we believe that we are unworthy of love. We become our own most severe critic. What does your own inner voice sound like? Do you look in the mirror and not like what you see? Do you say nasty words to yourself? Has a series of rejections and disappointments left a lingering, permanent self-loathing? Self-loathing takes many forms: sometimes it manifests as self-destructive behaviors, sometimes as addictions, sometimes as depression. Often the result is a heart that is unappreciative of God and critical of others, or perhaps an unquenchable longing for approval that makes you a people-pleaser or a gossip.
Let’s do a little self-diagnosis:
I want you to think back over your life and remember the moments of embarrassment, of failure, of loss. What are your tragic poor decisions? How fast do these come to mind? Deep down are you hanging on to these moments of shame? Do you still harbor deep regret? How has this impacted your faith? Are you afraid of having a relationship with God because you know that he knows the truth about you that you hide from everyone else?
For many folks when they read the following words they hear nothing but condemnation:
Romans 3:9-18 For we have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin. As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” “Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit.” “The poison of vipers is on their lips.” “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.” “Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know.” “There is no fear of God before their eyes.”.
It is devastating to hear the words “You are worthless” spoken over you by people; how much worse is it to hear these words from the Lord of the universe. Sadly, He does say that some people have turned away from his love and are worthless:
Jeremiah 2:5 This is what the Lord says: “What fault did your ancestors find in me, that they strayed so far from me? They followed worthless idols and became worthless themselves.”
Jonah 2:8 “Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.”
Isaiah 41:24 But you are less than nothing and your works are utterly worthless; whoever chooses you is detestable.
Jeremiah 10:14-15 Everyone is senseless and without knowledge; every goldsmith is shamed by his idols. The images he makes are a fraud; they have no breath in them. They are worthless, the objects of mockery; when their judgment comes, they will perish.
God declares the worthlessness of those who cling to idols, who worship images, who spew lies, curses and bitterness, who practice deceit, who shed blood and ruin others, and those who have no fear of God. God rightly has contempt for those who pursue evil.
In contrast, Jesus came to declare the unwavering love and forgiveness of the Father for all who repent:
Luke 15:10b I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.
He did not just come to tell us, he came to show us the full extent of God’s love through his suffering and death in our place:
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Have you decided that you are not intrinsically important?
God thought you were so important that Jesus chose to die for you so that He could be reconciled to you and you could live eternally with God.
Would you say, in your heart, that God should not, or could not, love someone like you? God created you. He knows everything you have ever done or ever will do, and still Jesus gave his life for you.
Jesus said: Matthew 10:29-31 “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
He has numbered the hairs on your head. The ones that you don’t like, the ones you dye, or shave, the grey ones that are coarse, even the cowlick that you (secretly) despise. Let’s go there. Do you think you are ugly? You were made in the image of God. He designed you in the womb. God does not make mistakes, only unique treasures. When you accept by faith Jesus’ grace and accept his gift of the forgiveness for your sins, he makes you a new creation. He calls you His bride. Do not presume to insult Christ!! You are not ugly. He does not take lightly when anyone speaks curses over his beloved. You are His beloved. Here is what God’s word says about beauty:
1 Peter 3:3-4 “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
If you long to be beautiful, cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit and know that you are beautiful and cherished.
Why is it that no matter how many times a spouse may say you are beautiful, a nasty word from a stranger seems more “true”? Deep down we don’t really believe when our loved ones tell us the truth. We think that they say what they want us to hear. If this is your reality, I believe you are listening to the voice of the enemy. This is the same reason that words of condemnation stick. There is an enemy of your soul who desires to wound you. There is a voice that inspires words of condemnation in others, and repeats them to us, that is not internal. This reality is more insidious than you realize. The Bible calls these lies the “fiery darts” of the enemy. A malicious lie is a flaming arrow that hits us and sticks and continues to burn us.
In Ephesians chapter 6 the apostle Paul talks about the nature of the spiritual battle that we are in. Malicious spirits desire to plant lies in your heart and mind that will bind you like a strong cell and blind you to the love of Christ. Sadly, they are quite effective. Let’s replace those lies with truth:
Mark 1:11 And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”
The Father spoke these words over his beloved son, Jesus, as he rose up from the waters of Baptism. God the Father sent his Son into the world to redeem the world. Jesus was special, anointed, set apart. That is what “Messiah” means. Jesus knew that he was special and loved. We all long to hear these words said over us. Perhaps you didn’t have parents who expressed this to you. Perhaps, because of their sin, or their brokenness you didn’t know that you were special. The truth is that you are special.
Pray right now and trust in Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Repent and be baptized following Jesus example. Hear these words spoken over you:
“You are my child. Your sins are all forgiven in Jesus’ name. With you I am well pleased.”
God has prepared good things for you to do on earth. Unique things, suitable only to you. Do you believe that you will do greater things than Jesus did? If your honest answer is, “No way!” You are not alone. But this is a lie too. Listen to what Jesus says to his disciples:
John 14:12-14 “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”
Let this sink in: Jesus loves you, you are his disciple. He will send his Spirit to dwell in your heart to teach you. The first lesson is this:
John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
You first must know that you are loved by Jesus. This is foundational. “He is the vine, we are the branches.” (John 15) As you experience the love of Jesus, it then becomes possible to love others. Jesus says that the Father loves you as well:
John 16:27 “No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.”
Do you think that your difficulties, your very real trials and suffering, indicate that you are rejected, alone, and unloved? No! Like Job, Satan’s lies are proved false by your faithfulness in the face of the worst the enemy can dish out.
1 Peter 1:7 These (trials) have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
Trials may actually indicate God’s favor upon you. Listen to the attitude of the apostles:
Acts 5:40b-42 “They called the apostles in and had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name. Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Messiah.”
The apostles rejoiced.
Give thanks in difficult circumstances, in all your trials. Yes even a corona virus pandemic.
Always remember you are loved by God and of such great worth that the one and only Son of God, Jesus, died for you.
Atheist to Elder 